Breaking Wedding Traditions – How LGBTQ+ Couples Are Reinventing Weddings
- Lauren Depass
- May 7
- 3 min read
Are you currently planning your own LGBTQ+ wedding but struggling to find ways to make it your own? Let’s face it, anything straight folk can do, gays can do better and the wedding space is no exception. LGBTQ+ couples/lovers are taking mundane outdated wedding traditions and transforming them into something unique, fresh, and exciting.
So, get comfortable, grab a cup of tea and prepare to be inspired as we dive into five ways LGBTQ+ couples are reinventing weddings to make them more inclusive, welcoming and ultimately a more enjoyable place to be - can I get a ‘GAY’men!
Couples Who Party Together…
Stag do’s and hen do’s are so…well, obsolete. The idea that two people who love each other need to go wild one last time before tying the knot is a tradition many queer couples are scrapping and quite frankly, we’re here for it! Instead couples are making room for sten do’s, gathering their friends and family for an inclusive celebration, replacing gender stereotyped activities with more personalised, meaningful moments that better reflect them as a couple.
“Do I Look Gay in This?”
…Good! Realistically, if traditions were meant to be followed, would anybody be wearing white? The days of an ivory gown and dull suits are slowly becoming a thing of the past. Queer couples are embracing their freedom to choose an outfit that expresses their identity and personality. From colourful gowns, velvet suits to sequin jumpsuits, whatever you choose to wear on your wedding day should be exactly that…your choice!
To Aisle or Not to Aisle?
“Here comes the…” brides, the grooms and whoever the hell you want! Gone are the days where you’re required to be given away by your father like a hand-me-down jacket. Many gay couples are reinventing this tradition by walking down the aisle together, with a friend or with another family member.
Another option is to ditch the aisle all together and instead get married in a space that doesn’t require anybody to walk to the altar, for example, a circle ceremony, where the whole wedding party is joined by hands or ribbons to symbolise unity and togetherness.
One Set of Vows Does Not Fit All
Exchanging vows is a beloved and cherished tradition and one that LGBTQ+ couples are still choosing to embrace. However, LGBTQ+ couples have found a way to make this experience something truly special and unique by personalising their vows or incorporating a unity ritual such as jumping the broom, lighting a unity candle or handfasting.
Your Name, Your Choice
Traditionally, it’s considered the ‘norm’ for one person to take their partner’s surname and while many couples are moving away from this, there is still this silent expectation for this to be the case. As an engaged queer couple, you may be asked by family or friends ‘who’s taking who’s name?’ or perhaps they already have an idea in their head. Well, what if we told you there are a variety of options when it comes to debunking this tradition? A common option is to pair both your names together, merging your two names together as one or creating a whole new surname that you feel better represents your family.
Can’t decide? Why not let your guests do it for you? As seen at Jazz and Elle’s extraordinary queer wedding, they asked their guests to vote which way they should double-barrel their name - now that’s a sure way to make sure your surname has meaning!
Final Thoughts
We understand that planning a wedding as a queer couple can be challenging and at times isolating. When searching for wedding inspiration online or in magazines, you’re often greeted with archaic wedding traditions and couples that don’t in any way represent your relationship.
Ultimately, it’s your day, your rules! Don’t let anybody tell you how you and your partner should express your love, or what traditions you should or shouldn’t scrap. Your wedding celebration is a great opportunity to pave new traditions that are meaningful to both you and your partner, so have fun creating them!
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