Carter & Caitlin: An intimate wedding on the Scottish Borders

From the Edinburgh Fringe Festival stage to a quirky house on the Scottish Borders, Carter (they/them) and Caitlin's (she/her) love story is one for the queer ages. 

Photo Credit: Lou Rob Photo

Colourful wedding bouquets, glittery dinosaurs and a three-legged cat, Carter and Caitlin's intimate wedding was anything but ordinary. Achieving their dream 'wedding-y' vibe while still serving a huge middle finger to outdated wedding traditions, their day truly belongs in the queer wedding hall of fame.

Carter and Caitlin's wedding was beautifully captured by Lou Rob Photo. Each moment captured through Lou's lens is pure magic, creating a visual storybook of candid, colourful and joyful moments that will stay with you and your loved ones forever.

So whether you're searching for inspiration for your own wedding or simply a sucker for love - join us as we sit down with Carter and Caitlin to relive the magic of their special day.

Let's start at the beginning. How long have you been together and how did you meet?

We met nine years ago, when we were working together backstage at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. We then hit both extremes of dyke stereotypes by being Just Good Friends for five years before getting together romantically, but then almost immediately getting engaged.

If your love story was a song or genre of music, what would it be and why?

Tricky! We love a lot of music, from metal to Taylor Swift. Our first dance was “4 EVER 4 ME” by Demi Lovato. We’d probably be showtunes from a niche musical -  dramatic, camp, a bit ridiculous, and completely unfathomably weird to most people but deeply beloved by the few in the circle. That or “I Love Cats” by goth rock band Vision Video.

Can you paint us a picture of your proposal?

Once we decided to get engaged, we started ring shopping together, and we ended up choosing our own rings from the same vintage stall in Cardiff Market.  We hadn’t planned a proposal, we were going to “surprise” each other, but we couldn’t wait - the “will you marry me” happened minutes after we got home from picking out the second ring. Carter went to make coffee and (affectionately) squeezed Caitlin’s ass on the way past. Caitlin (sarcastically, with love) said, “Wow, RUDE”. Carter (lovingly, in fun) said, “What’re you gonna do about it?” and Caitlin replied “THIS,” and got down on one knee!

Let's get on to the big day. Where did you get married?

Branxholm Park House, near Hawick in the Scottish Borders. It’s a beautiful quirky house with goats, ducks, and a three-legged cat, and the most gorgeous indoor and outdoor spaces to suit our intimate guest list of about 30. We live in Cardiff, but as we met in Scotland we thought the memories were worth the travel!

Was there an overall vibe you were going for?

GAY! We just wanted our day to radiate queer joy and pride, while still being fairly “wedding-y”. 

Were there any traditions you put your own twist on?

We had a good friend officiate so we could make our ceremony totally “us”, which included him opening the day by leading the guests in a chant of “FUCK TERFS”, and us rolling d20 dice to see who went first for vows. Carter walked down the aisle to the Pacific Rim theme. We had confetti in trans flag colours, glittery dinosaurs on our wedding cake, and fun gay pin badges, snacks, and bubbles as favours.

Did you have any elements that were unique to your love story?

We’re crafty, so we incorporated a lot of homemade bits such as the signage, guestbook, our accessories, and table numbers. Caitlin’s suit, waistcoat, and shirt were entirely handmade by her amazing best friend/maid of honour Charlie, with secret dinosaur embroidery and buttons. Carter stitched a note into the lining, which matched their DIY veil.

Tell us about the suppliers you chose from the Rebel Love Directory and your experience with them

Lou Rob Photo was the first vendor we booked after our venue, as we knew it was vital to find the right one - someone queer-friendly, with a lively, warm, authentic portfolio, who would fit in with us and our guests. Lou absolutely fit the bill, and beyond! From our initial zoom meeting onwards she was passionate, supportive, and as excited about our wedding as we were (probably because we promised her goats)! She stayed with us all day, from getting ready and a very emotional first look through to dancing the night away, and we received a huge gallery of sneak peeks the very next day - incredible service, hugely talented photographer, and the loveliest of people!

Rosie Roberts Beauty was an absolute gem! As an alternative, anxious, queer couple it was tricky to find a MUA that suited us in the cis-het-normal, soft-natural-glam wedding industry, so we were overjoyed to find Rosie, a total angel who made us look (and therefore feel) stunning! As well as her phenomenal makeup talents, Rosie is a delight; She's chatty, funny, supportive, truly cares about equality and accessibility, and made us and our wedding party feel so comfortable, distracting us from last-minute nerves.

We’d also like to shout out Blue Hill Flora, who grew and arranged our dried bouquets and accessories. Rhiannon is so kind, professional, and passionate about her work and the environment. We were so happy to be able to have Welsh grown, planet-friendly flowers, and being dried made them a breeze to collect and transport. The whole process was made so easy and exciting, and the final results were stunning!

If you could live one moment from your wedding on repeat, what would it be?

To quote Caitlin, “you lost your absolute shit when you saw my suit!” 

Our first look was magical. We had both kept our outfits a secret, and we got ready in separate rooms. Lou, Rosie, and our maids of honour manoeuvred us into position with our eyes closed, then we turned round to see each other. We both gasped and cried, Carter was nearly on the floor, and we shared a gorgeous intimate moment before meeting guests for the ceremony.

And finally, what advice would you give to LGBTQ+ couples currently planning their wedding?

A key decision we made was to have a private legal ceremony (at Barry civic offices, followed by chips, arcades, and mini golf) separate to the wedding event in front of friends and family. The legal script is unfortunately still very binary and we wanted the officiant at the Branxholm Park ceremony to be able to be authentic to us - pronouns, nerdy quotes, queer stuff and all. 

Most importantly we’d say do whatever you want to do, make it yours, and don’t let anyone tell you how to celebrate!

Carter & Caitlin's special day

Photo Gallery Credit: Lou Rob Photo - check out her profile on the directory!