The Tale of Two Proposals and a Wedding at Camellia House

3 days ago

5 min read

We don't know about you but we're sick and quite frankly exhausted of fighting for space in an industry that continues to fail our community. That's why, we created the Queer Love Stories series, a place where we can shout about Queer Love and however it presents. We want to celebrate real queer lovers and the incredible inclusive suppliers that help bring their dream day to life.

A wedding so iconic it started with not one, but two proposals. From unveiling names to favourite board games, Aleck (they/them) & Joanna (she/her) give us a front row seat into their unforgettable day and the special moments that led up to it. Submitted by Louise from Kickass Gatherings, a humanist celebrant with a humorous edge that is guaranteed to add a veil of warmth and joy over your ceremony.

Bride wearing a white dress kisses partner in a purple patterned suit

Let's start at the beginning. How long have you been together and how did you meet?

We've been together for 6 years, and are now 3 months married!

We met at uni, at an LGBTQ+ social event on Halloween. Aleck was wearing a Claire's hair clip as a Halloween bowtie, and Joanna was wearing a last-minute Halloween costume of Medusa (with pipe cleaner snakes).

After months of ‘will they, won't they’, we finally got together after we'd arranged to go to the cinema together and Aleck having to tentatively ask if it was a date or not?!

Can you paint us a picture of your proposal?

Aleck: I bought a custom made ring in secret by BoneArrow in February/March. Including choosing the design and getting to handpick the perfect diamond (I chose a salt and pepper diamond, surrounded by 2 black diamonds as I knew Joanna would love it even more than a traditional diamond). I had the thought I could wait until September to propose and do something fancy with it. I have no impulse control and spoiler alert: I did not last 7 months to propose. We told our friends, I lasted 7 days after getting the ring, going to Wollaton Park and proposing in the Camellia House. However, this wasn’t quite true. I actually proposed only 3 days after getting the ring because I panicked and thought Joanna had guessed I had bought one, and so proposed at home on our anniversary after a lovely meal out. Joanna was so surprised and overwhelmed with joy, she cried for an hour. So, she said that we had to do it again properly and take photos and tell everyone about the “proper” one at the Camellia House. We let our wedding celebrant Louise tell the true proposal during the ceremony.

Joanna: After the whirlwind double proposal, I decided I would like to propose back. And I thought nothing would be more perfect that choosing a ring to match mine whilst also being more Aleck's style! So I also bought Aleck's ring from the lovely BoneArrow and chose a black diamond stone, so we could match (as I also had black diamonds in my ring), but theirs has a textured band.

They knew I was buying the ring, partly so I could steal the ring they wear everyday for the size, without stressing them out that they'd lost it! But they didn't know when and where I would pick for the proposal.

I decided because of our joint love for cats and the Cat Cafe that I would propose at the cat cafe. Knowing that Aleck and I are not crowd loving people, I had surreptitiously got down on one knee (whilst petting a cat) to give them their ring. I don't think I even waited for them to say yes before giving it to them!

Newlyweds embrace and smile at each other on gravel drive leading up to a grand Manor House

Let's get on to the big day. Where did you get married?

We had our ceremony in the Camellia House, at Wollaton Park in Nottingham. It is a gorgeous grade 2 listed iron glasshouse on the overlooking the stunning Wollaton Park.

We then had our reception at the Malt Cross, a Victorian Music Hall turned pub, with a glorious glass roof (double glass, which on the hottest day of the year so far was not ideal!)

Were there any traditions you put your own twist on?

Thanks to Louise, we had a name unveiling. We decided to pick a whole new surname for the both of us and played a game akin to hangman using an amazing sign designed and made by Louise! Some of our guests got really into it and if they guessed a letter wrong sat down, as if they were then out of the game.

Instead of having a dance floor at our reception, we asked all of our guests to bring their favourite boardgame that we could then play together. There were many different games, including a particularly tense game of Jenga!

Group smiling and concentrating whilst playing Jenga in warm indoor room

Did you face any challenges when planning your wedding?

For the most part wedding planning was smooth, we'd decided early on in our planning to do only exactly what we wanted to do and nothing else. We wanted an intimate, personal and beautiful wedding and chose to focus our attention on the things that mattered most for us and not pay any mind to what the traditional wedding industry said about what you should do for a wedding.

Unfortunately there was some tension, we had an aim for the guest list to be 25 people and with one of us having an extended family of over 30 people meant that there was some unhappiness at how many family members were on the guest list. We chose to invite people who had been champions of our relationship from the beginning, our chosen family, over family members who we were expected to invite ‘because they're family’.

We also hit some snags early on with booking the reception venue we wanted. We initially chose an unorthodox venue, a cafe that we loved that had recently started hosting events. We had some initial chats with management, but when we reached out a couple months later to book we discovered there had been a change in management which meant they offered us fewer hours on the day, different food and drink options to what we had planned and then asked us for more money! Luckily we had planned for a 2 year engagement so we had plenty of time to look around for a new reception venue, and the place we found had the perfect vibes for our day, as well as being a place we had been to a lot with our friends when we first started dating.